I am not enough.

Maybe some of you will have the same gut reaction to that statement as I did just a few weeks ago listening to the audiobook Mom Up by Kara-Kae James. That immediate protest “what do you mean I’m not enough?! Of course I am! I can do it all! I need to do it all!” Maybe some of you already fully acknowledge this truth, but have yet to fully accept it and find peace with it in a culture so driven by ego and “woman power”. Still maybe there are some of you who have fully acknowledged and accepted this truth and have found peace in it.

I’m going to give it to you straight. We’ve all been a fed a lie. Many lies in fact, leading us to believe we are enough, and anyone who tells you otherwise is the liar or is jealous or has self-esteem issues or…. This has nothing to do with societies idea of self-esteem or believing that you’re good enough at something. Let’s be clear. Saying I am not enough is not me saying I’m not good enough. These are different concepts, but first let’s address the lies that have been pushed on us since childhood.

Thanks to Beyonce (cringe) we all have had that Independent Ladies jingle on repeat in our heads at least once, and if we’re honest probably more than we care to admit. But this goes further back than that. How about Rosie and the promotion of woman power and independent womanhood that escalate back in the 1940’s? Yes, I understand the demands and gaps left by the deployed men during WWII, and that women needed to step up and help out. However, this shifted our culture, for better or worse. Stay with me here. This societal shift encouraged the promotion of feminist lies about the idea of an independent woman even after the war had ended.

As we look back through our history we can see this was a pivotal time for our culture ultimately leading us to the mess we find ourselves in today. On the premise of “I am enough” our homes and families have been degraded. Relationships and marriages have become disposable leading to ever increasing divorce rates, single mother households, children being raised without a father, abortions and most recently the promotion of infanticide. People have diverted their faith and hope in Jesus to being “nones” (no religious affiliation) and in many cases have replaced this faith in God with faith in the government. Women chose to prioritize working outside the home over raising their children, and send their children off to be raised by strangers in confinement run by the government. Young women are taught that being independent means they don’t need man, men are evil and disposable, but to be truly independent they should practice sexual liberation (because somehow this gives them the control and power over men) and whore themselves out with no consequence (i.e. birth control and abortion).

Let me pause to say this is not a judgement. We are all responsible for our own choices whatever our reasoning. Some who know me might say I’m hypocrite as I myself have been divorced twice and have a child from each marriage. However, as I see it, that which I’m sharing here are the realities in which I have become aware of and lessons I have learned personally or witnessed in others close to me. I digress…

For too long I believed I was enough. I bought into the false idea that “equality” meant women could do whatever a man could do; that women are the same, no superior, to men – because we can do everything they can do AND more, like give birth. When in fact, the greatest part of being a women is that we are so uniquely different from our male counterparts. We will never be able to do all the things of a man and vice versa. We were created to be helpmates to one another and to bring balance to the home and life; not to be in constant competition.

Lies are many and I have barely scratched the surface, but the bottom line is that “I am enough” is a lie which has lead not to the uplifting sisterhood we believed to find, but to the destruction of our hearts and minds.

I am not enough, and I am ok with that.

I can’t do it all, and I am ok with that. I don’t need to do it all.

I AM good enough.

I AM good enough for my children, and the best mother to raise and educate them.

I AM good enough for my partner.

I AM good enough for me.

I AM good enough for God.

Yet, I can’t do it alone. When we can let go of our ego that so tightly holds on to the lies we can then begin to find our freedom. It is ok to know you need help. It is okay to ask for help. I am not enough. I constantly need help. I need help from my family, my friends, my partner and God. We were not intended to walk this life alone as an independent woman promoted by our culture, but to wholeheartedly embrace our relationships – with God and our families (of blood and/or choice)- and to lift one another up.

With love in Christ,

Miranda

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